What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do you know what she said mum?

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

True - how I loved my mum!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why is there so much hate against black people?

What! how could you do that?